Update 2/2/09

So getting over procrastination has hit a snag. Well so has the rest too. So far I've seen so many pictures of me in the past where I didn't realize I was anorexic looking and just watched that stupid Hugh Hefner show where every girl looks perfect. Then I saw a picture today where I'm leaning over sleeping and have a huge roll of dough coming out of my pants that resembles my stomach but still can't believe it is. Aaaaah. So I resolved not to eat unhealthy which usually evolves into I don't hardly eat anything until I starve tonight at 10 pm. Well even that didn't happen because while I havent ate lunch or breakfast I've eaten the cookies from yestedays Superbowl, about 10 mini cookies and these long sour punch things I love from 7-11. No willpower whatsoever. I'm trying to kick myself into gear where I take Joey on walks but by the time he wakes up he wants breakfast, I get tired after dressing him and then its almost time for nap and then nap is over and my mom comes home and after that he's hers. I just realized right now with my classes starting at 8 I could go to gym for an hour but I had resolved myself to go on Friday when I had no class since the gym is $5 without membership and I've learned my lesson about gym memberships.
Well I got my unemployment back, supposedly should get my Food stamp card soon, uhhh, and looking for an apartment. I had been offered my dream apartment but had no money for deposit and rent and then lo and behold I get my back checks for unemployment next day. Now I'm waiting on another one. I'm still stressing on us moving out by 15th of this money. I rented the storage facility, selling some stuff but Josh has no place to go. I'm getting he's discovering God and trying to get better but man his progress is like an ant slow. We each watched separately of course that Christian movie Fireproof about saving your marriage. It was really good but the impact really hit him. I wanna buy the book featured in it Love Dare for him and I. Valentines Day is coming up and it's weird yet again to be married but separated. Can't take much more of this.
I made Deans List at school but not much else progresses. I just want to be out of my old house and in a new apartment but until then stuck in moms house. I'm trying to stay a good mom and get my butt back into church but it seems days drag on and sometimes I feel that tug of depression. Resolutions suck.